Single person households are growing steadily. Most single-person households are located in the country’s large urban areas. In Manhattan and Washington, D.C., for example, about half of households have single occupants, and in some neighborhoods the proportion is two-thirds. Some studies attribute this to economic factors, the rate of living alone tends to grow fastest during periods of economic expansion. Other studies focus on improved health and finances among older people and younger ones waiting longer to marry. Still other analyst say that Americans simply prefer privacy and that increasing economic resources are often used to purchase this in the form of living alone. Whatever the reason, a growing number of us live alone.
 
While it is true that singles tend to get out of the house more than those living with others to engage in all kinds of social activities, often it isn’t easy filling all the hours of a day alone, especially in the evening and this can be even more emotionally apparent during the holidays.
 
Stay engaged! Here is my weekly go to list for enjoyable evening activities.
 
Monday evenings I pull out my deck of Tarot cards, ask a question and arrange nine cards on the table in the traditional Celtic cross spread. I allow my subconscious mind to speak through what I project onto the card images, thoughts, feelings or memories. I always come away with new insights! Interested in purchasing my deck, visit the books page of my website. http://www.attarcoaching.com/books.html
 
Tuesday evening is reserved for a Toastmasters meeting. I love Toastmasters and look forward to participating by stepping into one of the many roles that help the meeting run smoothly. I love giving a new speech even more.
 
On Wednesday evenings, I enjoy filling the pages of my journal with collage. Each page has a different focus. I cut images from magazines that attract me and paste them into a design. I’m always surprised with the results. This works best when my mind is empty, and I am in the state of Flow.
 
Thursday evening is reserved for a swim at the YMCA.
 
Friday evenings, these days, I am filling the pages of a wonderful book composed by the San Francisco Writer’s Grotto: 642 Things to Write About.
 
Saturday evenings I pull out my water colors and paint.
 
Sunday is for planning the weeks goals and reviewing my finances.
 
Now granted, this is a list for a true introvert. But…how do you spend your evenings?
 

I recently wrote a book about the Tarot, Tarot and the Twelve Powers: A Journey for the Heart and Soul. I want to explain how I relate to Tarot cards.
 
Most people associate Tarot cards with fortune tellers and esoteric arts. Authors of books about the Tarot too often want to tell the reader what the cards mean. I have a different understanding of the Tarot. I don’t believe the cards hold any inherent meaning or that they can predict your future. Rather, I see Tarot images as akin to dream images; we can engage with in a similar manner.
 
Tarot images serve as projection holders for our thoughts, beliefs, memories, feelings, and experiences. In other words, we project our inner world onto the images. By engaging with them, we unlock the door to our own subconscious mind and discover the wisdom hidden there.
 
We may awake in the morning carrying a dream fragment into the day or even perhaps a long story of events played out in visual memory from our dream. We naturally begin to make associations between the dream images or story and our waking experience: memories, thoughts, feelings, events. If we follow the thread of connections between the dream world and waking world we may come to a sudden insight or what is sometimes called an “ah-ha” experience. We recognize some truth that was not available to us before. This is because dreams are avenues for communicating with our subconscious mind where personal wisdom, understanding, and awareness may be hiding.
 
Tarot images, like dream images are in a sense, projection holders. We project onto them our memories, feelings and beliefs. This process allows us, through the workings of the subconscious mind, to come to greater personal and spiritual insight. What is projected onto the card is personal and unique to the viewer.
 
This is why, just as only the dreamer can know the meaning of the dream, only the person pouring his or her associations onto the Tarot images can know what the images mean. And because what one projects onto a card will be different over the course of time, so too the meaning of the card will change. Clearly the images do not hold any inherent meaning.
 

Celtic spirituality is a Christian tradition we can be proud of, and one we could integrate into our everyday lives simply by caring for the earth and each other.
 
Actually, there has never been a more crucial time to return Celtic Spirituality to its prior power as a Christian tradition deserving our most respectful attention. Why, because the message of Celtic Spirituality is simply this: our very lives depend on the health of the planet. 
 
We are made of the earth; the earth is not made of us. If human beings disappeared from the earth tomorrow she would get along just fine. It is a miracle and a mystery that we are even riding on this great earth-ship. The earth deserves our spiritual reverence and awe.
 
It is not too late to return to the call of the wisdom teachings and practices that help us to remember the earth’s blessing. A Celtic poem reminds us, if we have forgotten, that we do not of our own accord rise in the morning. Listen to the poem.
 
I arise today
Through the strength of heaven
Light of sun
Radiance of moon
Splendor of fire
Speed of lightning
Swiftness of wind
Depth of sea
Stability of earth
Firmness of rock
 
Celtic spirituality is really a call to cultivate a deep friendship with these gifts of nature: sun, moon, fire, wind, sea, lightning, earth, and rock with a call to instill a sense of personal gratitude, awe, and humility through our dependence on them.
 
May the earth’s blessings nourish you today.
 

Many debate our power of choice in any given circumstance. Some say the workings of subconscious motivations keep us in the dark about why we move in one direction or another. Others say we all have will power that we can strengthen or neglect. Perhaps there is truth in both points of view. We bump into all sorts of experiences in our lives. Some we choose and some we don’t. Almost every experience has three aspects, positive, negative and neutral. Our level of satisfaction with an experience or event depends in large part on which aspect we choose to focus on.
 
This is a lot like what happens when we download photos from our phone to the computer and adjust them on photoshop. We choose the photos with the best composition and clarity, everyone, or almost everyone smiling into the camera. We may enhance or enlarge the image and adjust for color saturation and value. Now the image expands on our computer and in our mind and the objects and people in the image seem to glow, “enhanced” by an inner light. We might arrange these in a Powerpoint or share them on Instagram for friends and family to enjoy.
 
The photo images we don’t wish to view again we simply delete. We don’t deny the event or the image. We simply don’t give it any attention and before long we have forgotten it ever occurred. In a similar way, we can choose the life experiences we want to attend to and allow the others to fade in significance. This will radically increase our level of happiness.
 
Gary Simmons in his book The I of the Storm, gives a beautiful example of this. He writes,
 
“I make my life mean what it means. The way I choose to relate to my experience is what my experience becomes. The quality of my life, its inherent ambiance, arises from within me. Experiences are metaphors and mirrors of your belief system, and they serve as feedback to what you are making your life mean.”
 
Gary Simmons’s words certainly ring true and yet it is also OK to lean on outside assistance when we can’t seem to get a handle on changes and choices we want to make. For instance, my daughters recently got me a FitBit. Throughout the day it alerts me when it is time to move, walk or stretch, how many steps I’ve taken, how many calories I’ve burned, how much water I’ve downed, and how far I am from my set exercise goals. Tracking my progress and getting frequent reminders has amazing benefits. I compete for my best self.
 
Changing a deep-seated habit often takes a support group, friends that are walking a similar path and understand the terrain. There are many groups to choose from, each with a specific focus. Finding a coach or counselor may also help. Once you have identified where you want to bring positive change into your life, the important thing is to begin. And don’t become discouraged if you have to begin many times. Old habits take time to change. Congratulate yourself for taking the leap, taking the challenge. In every instance, focus on the positive aspect of your experience and let the negative aspects fade. You have the power.
 
These are just a few of the ways to increase your happiness and satisfaction with life and feel more in control: focus on the positive in every experience, seek a support group, coach or counselor and track the progress you make toward your goals. I wish you a smooth journey toward your success!  

IQ is not the only indicator of intelligence.
 
Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner has proposed a theory of multiple intelligences. We generally think of IQ as the indicator for intelligence, but Dr. Gardner offers other possibilities.  For instance, we all have varying levels of intelligence in visual awareness and appreciation, kinesthetic intelligence, or comfort and poise in movement, musical, showing a sensitivity to rhythm and sound, interpersonal, a sensitivity to the flow of conversation and connection with others, intrapersonal, an interest and understanding of our own feelings, intuition and motivation, linguistic, the ability to use words effectively, and logical, the ability to reason and calculate with ease. We are all complex individuals.
 
Dr. Gardner’s theory rings true for me. We are not static individuals but live in, with and through change and growth. Now we are learning we have a number of personal spheres that we develop over time. Some come more naturally to us, some we choose to attend to, others may be less important to us. We can each choose the areas in which we wish to develop a “higher IQ”.
 
Dr. Robert Sternberg, a leading thinker in intelligence has determined that IQ tests simply reveal skills and capabilities. He argues that intelligence is not a set of innate static capabilities, it is more reflective of a set of skills that we acquire.  Some of us acquire more of those skills, some of us acquire less. 
 
Here are a few ways to increase your IQ.

1. Increase your vocabulary.
2. Read one book a week and read in a variety of disciplines, for instance, biology, history, art, linguistics.
3. Learn another language.
4. Get regular exercise.
5. Learn to play a musical instrument.
6. Play brain games.

 
What is important is having fun increasing your IQ and choosing a sphere of intelligence where you have the most interest. I would also add, develop an interest in other people. Everyone has a unique, special gift. Try to find out what it is for each person you encounter.  That has to be as much fun as brain games!
 
As always, enjoy the journey!
 

Summer may be the season we most focus on our bodies. Many of us have been told by health care professionals that we need to lose weight. They don’t have to, do they? We are well aware of the physical and emotional suffering our weight gain causes. We feel anxious and perhaps even ashamed of our appearance. We have also suffered through enough weight loss diets with little or brief positive results. It may seem we are in fact losing, the battle not the weight.
 
Trying to lose weight can be discouraging, but really, how come? We can start with the conspiracy in the food industry. Most packaged food and restaurant food is pumped full of fat, sugar and salt, which ultimately encourages cravings for more of the same. It is easy to become hooked even on certain packaged foods marketed as healthy. Will organic sugar amount to less craving than non-organic? Why must ketchup, salad dressing or yogurt contain sugar? You get my drift. Many wholesome foods carry the weight of hidden calories.
 
It may also seem unfair that some people can eat large quantities of food and not gain weight. It’s true. In the West we explain this by metabolic rate. Some have a faster body metabolism, and burn calories with greater speed and efficiency than others. In the East, this discrepancy between the consumption of food and weight gain is explained in a different way. Eastern medicine recognizes the effects of the elements in the body-mind and the importance of keeping these elements in balance.  The elements are earth, air, and fire.
 
In Ayurveda, a medical system that originated in India, the expressions of these elements are known by their Sanskrit names, Kapha (earth), Pitta (fire) and Vata (air). Briefly, Kapha has the quality of the earth, it is damp and heavy, Pitta has the quality of fire, bright and hot, Vata has the quality of wind, light and dry. You can imagine from this point of view, people who are born with a Kapha constitution are going to tend toward heaviness, in other words, weight gain.
 
Whether we explain this predisposition for easy weight gain by the Western view of slow metabolism, or the Ayurvedic view of the effects of Kapha constitution the problem of how to keep a healthy weight remains. Besides, even people who don’t gain weight easily may battle food cravings and addictions. Cravings cause the same anxiety and out of control feelings no matter who experiences them. From appearances, food addiction goes unnoticed in thin people. This may make it even harder for them to seek help for their feelings of anxiety and loss of control. So what to do?
 
 There are ways to increase metabolism, primarily with cardio-exercise, speed walking, jogging or running. Besides exercise, it is hard to avoid the front cover of practically every magazine at the grocery store checkout counter, announcing the latest and best weight loss diet. Sometimes the new diet offers the exact reverse direction as last month’s edition. If these diet plans worked consistently, and for the long haul, we wouldn’t find a new one on the front cover every month. I have to ask, is the answer to permanent weight loss found in what we eat or how we eat? I want to focus on behaviors that promote healthful weight and a positive relationship to food.
 

Cultivate loving kindness toward your body
         Quietly go inside and ask your body what it needs to feel energized.
         Keep a journal to record how you feel after a meal. This will give you direction about the food that your body needs and wants.
         Practice guided visualization, seeing your body healthy and strong
Practice healthy habits
         Eat at the same time every day. I recommend, 7am breakfast, 11am lunch, a 4pm snack,
         and 6pm dinner.
         Say grace.
         Focus on your food; don’t engage in any other activity while you are eating.
         Eat slowly, setting your fork or spoon down after each bite.
         Enjoy each mouthful, texture, smells, and taste.
         Eat on small plates and avoid second helpings.
Buon appetito!
        

​Social scientists at Stanford University have affirmed, with scientific rigor, something people living as far back as the Middle Ages already knew. Walking generates greater creativity. In Latin the expression is, “solvitur ambulando”, it is solved by walking. 
 
In the Stanford study, 176 college students participated in three experiments that gauged divergent thinking. Divergent thinking is a thought process used to generate creative ideas by exploring many possible solutions. The results showed that the overwhelming majority of the participants in these three experiments were more creative while walking (and shortly after walking) than while sitting.
 
Most of us have also had this experience. For instance, walking is the best remedy for writer’s block. Personally, I find swimming as stimulating as walking and have some of my most creative ideas in the pool.
 
Now this is interesting, it seems how we walk matters. Chun-Yu Kuo and Yei-Yu Yeh published a study in Frontiers in Psychology in which the walkers were divided into two different groups, those who walked the perimeter of a 400 by 500 meter rectangular and those who walked freely inside it. They were all given the task of finding alternative uses for chopsticks while walking. Interestingly, the free walking group outperformed the rectangle walkers on fluency, flexibility and originality. I guess there is something to be said for daydreaming while wandering new territory. But only within a safe boundary.
 
 I am writing this on June 23rd in the full glory of summer. We have long hours of sunlight late into the evening. Summer days allow ample time for trekking along our favorite outdoor paths.  Perhaps this increased opportunity for walking makes summer our most creative season.  Find out if this is true for you; engage in daily walks out of doors. Enjoy the warmth, stretching winter-stiff muscles, chatting with neighbors and friends as you meander.
 
Even if you don’t have a specific creative project you are working on, once you return home from your walk, sit down and do some free, stream of consciousness writing or journaling. You may be surprised with the new ideas that surface from the wells of your subconscious mind. Happy trails!

​No one suspects the days to be gods.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
When I first heard this quote, in my mind I registered gods in the possessive, as in, god’s. “No one suspects the days to belong to God.” And that seemed true to me. Our day belongs to God in the same way that time or eternity belongs to God.
 
On the other hand, if it is read as it is written, the days are personified, in a sense, as gods. And this seems true to me as well.
 
When we wake in the morning and open our eyes, light comes suddenly to a dark world, and a miracle of color, light and shadow, form and shape, design and order, is spread out before us.
 
If we greet the day as we might a god, our time throughout it will be holy; a new perspective perhaps, but one that we deserve.
 
In India, there are thousands of temples to Lord Shiva, god of dance. People celebrate Shiva by placing bowls of fruit and flowers on his altar, lighting incense, beating drums and dancing in a sensual circle of joy.  Why not celebrate the new day, a new god, with the same respect, gratitude and joy? Why not greet your days as gods, deserving of your highest worship?

​Once, Pope Francis, speaking to a particular community, said this: “We pray for the poor and then we feed them. That’s how prayer works.”
 
I often hear people speak about the best way to make change in their lives or the life of the world. Some say it is most effective to focus the mind on positive thought, affirmations, visualizing the outcome you wish to materialize, emphasizing the good, and not allowing yourself to become distracted by what appears to be failing. Ultimately the path to success is through deepening your prayer life.
 
Others say that if you want positive change in your life you must set goals, plan out a particular strategy or direction, identify specific road blocks to your destination and how you will overcome these and notice where you have resources and support to assist you on your journey. Take a few steps and then evaluate the outcome. In other words, if you want to make positive change you must take action. 
 
Of course, both paths to making change are valid and helpful. One is not better than the other and it makes sense to apply both. What is more important is self-awareness. Which camp are you more likely to lean toward? Most of the time, what percentage of each do you draw from. Are you more likely to spend most of your time with affirmation and prayer or with planning and taking action or is it the other way around and how come?
 
We all have life experiences that will influence our decision to lean in one direction or another. This is not an exercise in judgement, but rather, getting to know ourselves better, taking an interest in how we operate and making friends with ourselves.
 
Routines can be very beneficial but getting into an unconscious rut usually isn’t.  Once my clients have discovered their general mode of operation, I encourage them to shake things up. This may be of help to you as well. If you are more likely to make elaborate plans in the direction of your goals, try to loosen the grip on this activity and spend more time in prayer, affirmation or visualization. It you don’t usually plan out your activities, spend more time with this endeavor. The mind is lazy and likes a rut, but this can become a debilitating habit over time. Take charge, rule your mind, rule your life.
 
I have been reading Sakyong Mipham’s book Ruling Your World: Ancient Strategies for Modern Life. In it he tells us “Exertion {taking action} is necessary to accomplish anything – spiritual or worldly.” He continues, “Exertion liberates us from laziness and takes us toward the joy {of positive accomplishment}.” Action is a necessary component for the joy of a meaningful life. 
 
To make positive change in our lives, and the life of the world, structure and plans are necessary, but once we have used these to set a path, it is engaging the mind and senses fully in our task that ultimately brings joy.
 
What are the mountains in your life that, with a healthy plan, a deeper prayer life, and positive action you could climb with greater ease and grace, one step at a time?

​I take my own classes.  Yes, I conceived and wrote the course curriculum, isn’t it odd to say that I regularly engage the exercises? Well, actually, no. I know the power of the class activities that I offer my students and I want to benefit from them as well.
 
Every morning I choose two or three exercises to complete from one of the classes in the Sorelle series or my Tarot and the Twelve Powers series. No matter how many times I do the exercises, I have something fresh and new on the journal page. I’m always surprised because I am never the same person I was a year ago or even a month or week ago. Life is continually changing, and we are part of life, never static.
 
What remains constant is the energy, inspiration and creative ideas I have after I finish the exercises. Also, engaging the exercises regularly keeps me focused on what I have control over: myself. I’m less likely to take the path slated for failure and grief, the path of trying to change or manipulate someone or something else to get what I want. When I focus on the vision I have for own life and the many creative possibilities of achieving my goals, energy and joy abound. The exercises in my classes guide me toward greater joy and creativity because they act as a portal for accessing my subconscious mind and the wisdom of the collective unconscious mind.
 
This morning I chose exercises that gave me a clear picture of the level of my life satisfaction.  From this vantage point I could determine what specific areas in my life needed more inspiration, energy or creativity. With this understanding, it was easy to craft a plan to raise my life to greater fulfilment and gratification. I was able to see clearly where I wanted to focus my attention, the habits I wanted to change and how to move towards my ideal. I want all of us to live the lives of our dreams. I hope you will join me and my students on the path.
Blessings,
Anatha